For today’s blog, I thought I would share the advice and words of wisdom that I have learned from some of my favorite horsemen and horsewomen. While these pearls of wisdom were originally spoken in the context of training horses and riders, the main theme of each of these messages is also relevant for and applicable to just about every human/life experience.

• Clinton Anderson: “Whoever moves his feet first, loses.” In one of his basic groundwork exercises, Mr. Anderson asks his horses to yield (swing) their hindquarters away from him. The purpose of this exercise is to teach the horse to respect the trainer by moving wherever and whenever the human asks him to go. (It is also a tool by which the trainer can gain better control of the horse’s body on the ground by temporarily destabilizing the animal’s power/balance in its hindquarters.) During the exercise, the horse should be the only one moving his or her feet. If the human has to move to get out of the horse’s way, the equine has essentially “won” a power advantage in the relationship because the person was unable to gain the horse’s respect. This model may be applied to the context of human-human relationships in that, at some time or another, everyone must remain firm and demand fair/respectful treatment from another person. Whether you typically give in to the other person’s demands or are the one who lays down the rules about conduct in a relationship, your behavior says a lot about you and your role (power/control) in that relationship.

• Chris Cox: “Ride with your eyes.” No matter what you are doing, it is important to keep your eyes open and focused on where you want to go. As you look in the direction you are traveling, you are subconsciously programming your body to prepare for that destination. Whether you look straight ahead, behind/above you or straight down at the ground, your subconscious mind is sending your body a message: This is where you will end up.

• Chris Cox: “If you can ride a fast horse, you will never be on a runaway.” Sometimes things happen in life that will take you completely by surprise. You may suddenly find yourself having to deal with challenges you never thought could—or would—happen to you. Practice taking on more challenges and accepting additional responsibilities to stretch your comfort zone. Do things faster or slower than you are used to doing them, so you will be comfortable and emotionally prepared to rise to any challenge—and at any speed—if life throws a curve ball at you.

• Robert Dover: “Your horse must feel like he can do everything like a champion.” Confidence is the key to a successful outcome whether you are a horse or a human. The more confident you feel about yourself, how well you do your job, how good you are at your hobbies, how emotionally secure you feel in your relationships (romantic, family, etc.), the harder you will try to succeed at that endeavor. Continuing to set reasonable goals that you must work at—but are capable of achieving—and celebrating the recognition and other rewards of your success that you receive during this journey, will increase your enthusiasm and motivation to succeed.

• Gina Miles: “Ride past the last jump. Have a plan for where you are going.” Whether you are riding your horse on a grand-prix jumping course or you are driving to the grocery store, it is important to know not only where you want to go and how you plan to get there. It is also imperative that you know what you are going to do once you arrive at your destination. Life carries on and time passes whether you are doing something or not, so keep setting new goals that will continue to motivate you to succeed after you have accomplished this one.

• Gina Miles: “Don’t let one mistake ruin the ride; go on to the next movement.” Everybody makes mistakes; the trick is to not allow one error paralyze your progress. If you can’t remember information to answer one of the questions on a test, don’t waste time worrying about that problem. Answer the other questions on the test, and go back to tackle that item if you have time. Once a mistake has happened, it is over; but there can and will be other opportunities to regain your advantage if you allow yourself to move on. As former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill famously advised his compatriots during World War II: “Stay calm and carry on.” .

• Monty Roberts: “Low adrenaline equals high learning; high adrenaline equals low learning.” I use this advice every day, whether I am handling one of my trainer’s stallions or dealing with rush-hour freeway traffic. I know that the more calm and relaxed I feel, the better I can focus on what I need to do to accomplish my goal. The key to achieving a goal is to maintain a low-energy state so that high-energy emotions (e.g., fear, frustration, anger, excitement) do not get a chance to interfere with what you are doing.

• Monty Roberts: “If you give yourself fifteen minutes, it will take all day. If you give yourself all day, it will take fifteen minutes.” One of the biggest lessons I have learned (repeatedly) from this advice is, it is important to devote my complete attention to the task I am working on while I am doing it. Have you ever noticed how quickly a series of small projects can explode into a major endeavor—especially when you try to accomplish these projects at once or in rapid succession? Multi-tasking has its place, but that place isn’t every place or all of the time. Show yourself some respect by honestly assessing your physical and emotional ability to accomplish a specific task; based on this information, make an honest estimate of how long you believe it will take you to do that one task. When you go to work on that project, allow yourself twice the amount of time you originally estimated ¬¬it will take, so you don’t have to feel rushed or otherwise pressured to complete the job. (You’ll probably complete it within the original time estimate, too.)

• Jane Savoie: “You have time.” It is easy to get so caught up in the excitement of an experience that you can’t (or refuse to) stop doing it. Put on the brakes, anyway! Ignore the temptation—no matter how strong it is—to rush through the training or keep repeating what you have just learned so you can “perfect” it. Everything takes time to learn and even longer to master. A young child or a young horse has a short attention span to learn something new, but adults can also become overwhelmed and burned out when they focus a lot of time working on just one thing. Spread out the amount of time you work on a project so you can approach it from a fresh, enthusiastic and focused mind-set. Rome wasn’t built in a day, so the saying goes; but it was built. You have all the time you need to complete your project, too.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Visit Sara's blog. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit www.calminsense
hypnotherapy.com